Saturday, July 30, 2016

5 Reasons You Should Masturbate ... Or Not


A recent article in the Times of India caught my eye, entitled "5 Reasons You Need to Masturbate."

The first thing I thought of when I saw the title, before I read the article, was "I need a reason?" (grin).  Well, the article itself was actually a snooze. Must have been written by a penny a word content writer I figure.

It certainly was not a total waste of a mouse click however. For below the short knock-off article was a treasure trove of totally entertaining, hilarious comments.  Below are some excerpts from the 579(!) comments along with  [my editorial comments/snarks between the square brackets]:

"... It should not mislead the younger generation and spoil their future, if they take this article for granted and go ahead with it. Almost every youth tries it a few times, but this bit of information should not encourage them. ..."  [A few times?? And then what, it's passé?]
"...ever heard about TMS? Traumatic Masturbation syndrome... they say its harmful.. god knows if its true or false."
[Could I apply for Social Security Disability on this basis, I wonder?]  
"Hello all, try to understand the fact, if we do masturbation we will be loosing fluid of our body, sperms will become week, the guys who says they are doing masturbation from last many years can check there stamina, they cannot even run for 1 KM, test your stamina by running to the tenth floor of any building. you cannot do it.  ..." [Actually, I think it may increase your stamina, after all it's aerobic exercise!]   "I have also heard of memory loss due to exessive masterbation. But how much is excessive?" [Hmmm, I think I heard that too, but I forget where...]  
[This one from a guy (I think) in Russia] "MASTURBATION is a “SIN” !!! If you masturbate(self pleasure) you will suffer God’s wrath !!! Try increasing your frequency of masturbation, you will find your sufferings, bad luck etc…increasing in rate !!! " [Yeah, OK ..., whatever] "God also masturbates. Thats what causes "snow". [Now I know!]   [And finally, these words of wisdom from a fellow in India]:"Its better to do dinka chika dinka chika. "    ['nuff said I think!]       

2 comments:

  1. I had to come back to this post because last night I couldn't finish reading this post because before I was through masturbating I pasted out. I woke up this morning wondering why I am naked in front of the computer.

    So masturbation does cause memory loss but aids in sleeping!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Instead of "Bad Luck" it may lead to Guilty Conscious!!

    ReplyDelete

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